Thank you 2018. Hello 2019.
A year in retrospect.
Happy new year everyone!
I can't believe its already 2019. Time flies, doesn't it?
I spent my new year's eve quietly, at home, with Luciano, while my husband was going crazy with work (the joy of the hospitality industry).
I can't remember the last time I went out to count down.
Its always a bit too crowded and noisy for me.
As I woke up and went about my life on December 31, 2018, everyone were already saying "Happy New Year!" and sending their kind wishes.
And to that I replied, "Thank you! But we are not quite there yet! I still have a good 16 hours to go!"
This year I really wanted to take the time and savour the last hours of 2018.
Not because 2018 was a particularly good year, its just that I did not want to rush through it the way I did in previous years.
We often seem to want the new year to come sooner as it signifies a new start and with the new hopes that come with it.
Perhaps for some its wanting to part way from a bad year.
And for others its looking ahead for what greater opportunities are in store.
But I don't want to spend my life wishing the years away.
After all, we only get a finite number of years.
On the last day of 2018, all I wanted was to sit down and look back with an open heart.
Looking back with gratitude for all its grandours and challenges.
Looking back with a curious mind to see what I can learn from it.
2018 was certainly a year of growth.
If we all have a particular lesson to learn in life, mine is definitely the skill to let go and trusting the process.
In the beginning of 2018 I started my cake business.
It was a lot of hard work but it was one of the pinnacles of my life.
Realising one's dream by rolling up your sleeves and subjecting yourself to the possibility of failure gives you confidence and self-worth.
When you become certain of what you stand for, you start to take it easy on other's opinions.
And THAT feels liberating.
The second half of 2018 was filled with uncertainties and challenges.
We rode it through but not without bruises and scratches.
Then its the long road of recovery.
May be there is a divine reason for us to be in Bali.
I truly believe that we are brought here for healing and growth.
To heal, to let go and to expand. (Gosh I sound like a hippie, don't I?)
Although the last quarter of 2018 was not easy, I gained a deeper understanding of who I am and I learned to work with myself instead of constantly questioning why I am not the way I want to be.
Instead of bashing myself for all that I am NOT, I appreciate all that I AM and trust in my ability to evolve and adapt, for the better.
Although I might not be there yet, I am thankful for my potentials.
Growth is in the space between where you are and where you will be.
Growth is in the silence before the triumph.
Learn to be okay with that vacuum. Learn to thrive in that space.
Life is not easy, there will be good days AND bad days. (We often unconsciously assume that we should only have good days.)
On the good days, I made sure I pampered myself, recharge and let myself enjoy without guilt.
On the difficult days, I reminded myself that 'tis too shall pass' and life is about riding the different tides without being caught in it.
Oh and "Patience". What a small word but with big meanings.
In 2018, I learned that I don't want to spend my life yearning for that perfect moment, perfect day or perfect year.
The perfect moment is now, and the reality is created with the thoughts you choose to put in your head.
Thank you 2018 and thank you 2019 for the feelings of renewal, hope and faith.