Updated: May 14, 2018
Spontaneous thoughts on Mommy's Day.
I should really be writing about cakes.
I had two orders last week and I should be writing about them as otherwise I am going to forget.
But between the school runs and my oven, I am exhausted and I am having writer's block.
So instead, I am going to ramble about my fragmented thoughts and continue to shoot words into the black hole of digital universe. (I am starting to doubt if anyone reads my blog at all lol. Oh well.)
This Sunday will be my second Mother's Day.
I didn't really feel anything on my first.
Perhaps I was too busy to even notice (I mean for the love of God I didn't even have private loo time).
My son has started preschool recently and suddenly, I am entrusted with three precious hours EVERY MORNING to think and contemplate (I reckon its the same feeling when you won a lottery and suddenly you don't know what to do with all the money. Okay, may be its slightly different lol).
Today, Luciano came home with this beautiful artwork for mother's day.
I have been secretly hoping he would make me something for the occasion.
I mean its one of the milestone of motherhood, isn't it?
To receive a drawing of stickmen is a sign that you've made it in the quest of being a generally loving and sensible mom, who managed to not make your kid hate you by yelling too much.
This year I got two hand prints. They are the most beautiful hand prints I have ever seen (I mean my son can poop on the paper and I'll find it beautiful).
After you've become mom, mother's day takes on a completely new meaning.
I remember drawing and making cards for my mom on Mother's Day. (My mom still has them!)
There was so much excitement in preparing her the gift, and in the anticipation of her reaction. All I wanted was to make her feel special and loved.
I remember the sense of longing and the affection I had for my mother.
I remember the unwavering belief that she would be there for me and I was safe in her harbour of love.
People say when you have a child, you get to experience your own childhood once again.
As I recollected my experience of Mother's Day as a child, I couldn't help but imagine the same thoughts and feelings going through my son's head.
I CANNOT believe that I AM the receiving end of those emotions.
Mother's Day is now a solid reminder of how blessed I am and a recognition that my biggest dream in life HAS been realised.
It's a reminder of God's grace and provision through our rocky journey in creating our little family.
Becoming a mother is not just "ticking off another item on the bucket list".
It is, for me, a chance to create a whole and complete family.
A chance to right the wrong in the past, and to carve out a different destiny for my son and perhaps for myself.
And so tomorrow, on Mother's Day, all I am going to do is to enjoy the mundane of motherhood and to really savour every moment of what it entails.
I will be grateful when I change diapers, clean up the murder scene he leaves behind after eating and heck, I am even going to be joyful when he fights sleep at 11pm (well I will at least tryyyyyy).