Its is OK to be not OK.
As much as I love Bali, it is starting to feel a bit lonely here.
The truth is my anxiety has creeped up the last few months ever since we knew we had to move away from SG.
At the time, we didn't even know where we would be going, we just knew staying was not an option.
We flew to 4 countries in a span of 2 months. It was nuts.
And once we were told we will be moving to Bali, we all let out a sigh of relief and then the whole crazy move begins.
So much to do, so many goodbyes to say but so little time.
I was in survival mode and now that we have (sort of) settled down, my anxiety starts to creep out like a freaking avalanche.
I have suffered from anxiety for years but I am very lucky that I have found a great therapist who had taught me useful tools to help myself during difficult times.
But still, sometimes it gets tough, especially during transition periods.
The other day I attended a parents workshop at Luciano's school.
To my surprise, the workshop was not so much about "how to nurture your child" but more "how to take care of yourself as a parent".
I was very inspired.
We did a bunch of activities, like drawing a mask representing ourselves, picking a kitchen tool that best represents us, standing in the centre of a group of people as they walked towards you and you had to tell them when to stop when you feel uncomfortable etc
The key takeaway that I got from the workshop was having the audacity to tell people what you are truly feeling.
We spend so much time on social media/in the social circle/at work crafting this perfect persona with this perfect life.
But we forgot that what truly connects us is our vulnerability.
It is OK to be not OK. It is OK to ask for empathy.
It is OK to not have it all together and there is nothing embarrassing about it.
This is what we call "being a human".
So if you were to ask me "how are you today?".
I will tell you, I am not 100% OK.
I will tell you I am trying to manage my anxiety and sometimes it is exhausting.
I will tell you I am still trying to find my equilibrium in a new environment.
But at the same time, somewhere deep in my heart knows that I will be OK because this is just part of the pendulum of life.
If you are also feeling "not very OK" today, tell someone about it and allow yourself to get that hug of support.